Being Single Does Not Mean I’m Lonely

On  January 1, 2016, I will turn 31 years old.

It also marks my 31st year of singlehood. Yep, I’m a proud member of the “No-Boyfriend-Since-Birth” and “Single-Since-Birth” clubs, and that doesn’t worry me one bit. I have come to realize that singlehood is a blessing, although the journey toward that realization was long and hard.

Image from Kaboompics via Pexels

Image from Kaboompics via Pexels

I know a lot of girls agonize over singlehood, and I felt the same way before. I’ve battled with a low self-esteem for years because I felt no one would be able to love me. I desperately waited for someone in my 20s to sweep me off my feet, and at one point, I felt that maybe, I am too ugly for Prince Charming. Maybe I don’t even deserve Prince Charming. Maybe I don’t deserve love or happiness and all those good things that come with being in a relationship.

I have locked myself in a negative mindset for decades, and it kept me from doing so many things. But then, I realized that feeling sorry for myself won’t do me any good. I have been wasting so many years of my life feeling bad about singlehood, that I have failed to make any steps toward self-improvement and to just love myself.

It was then that I started embracing happiness. I took time off to reflect and to just find out the things that make me happy. I signed up for lots of classes and workshops. I tried my hand at different sports. I traveled alone and with friends.

I eventually realized that singlehood doesn’t mean you have to feel bad about yourself. Being single doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. On the contrary, it’s a great time for you to know yourself and to find out what you want to do with your life. It’s the best time to invest in yourself before you start investing your time on somebody else. Eventually, I have learned that being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely. Singlehood is one of the best gifts a girl could give herself, as it gives you the time to get to know and love yourself better. Being single is path that I have willingly chosen for myself, and it allowed me to fully embrace who I am.

So, to all single folks reading this article, give yourself a pat on the back for a fab year that was. Being single is not something you should feel bad about–on the contrary, they could be the happiest years of your life! Take it from me.

One Response

  1. Ela

    I love your perspective on being a single 30 y.o girl. I am in the same boat as you are but sometimes I really feel something is missing in my life… I’d like to read about how you cope with loneliness of being single if you ever feel lonely, that is. It’s also not easy to be positive about being 30 and be in the nbsb community (if that’s what it is called). Have you also had people (friends, coworkers, family?) give you a hard time about not being in a relationship? What have you done about it? Thanks Becca. I look forward to reading more of your articles.

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