Dear Lawrence,
We are back to celebrating firsts! We have been together for 11 years and we’ve outgrown celebrating this phase of our relationship. But here we are, on a new chapter of our love story and we are once again motivated to celebrate them. There’s our first kiss, our first date, our first fight—and now our first month as a married couple.
When we were younger (in our relationship and in our existence in the earth too), I’ve often wondered how life will be like when we finally get married. Just like any other bride to be, I had both positive and negative ideas of what our married life will be.
On a positive note, I expected us to be more loving and kind to each other after the wedding. Wedding planning was really stressful. It was interesting to note that during the wedding preparations, we were more likely to fight than in our nine years of being boyfriend and girlfriend. So I was thinking, maybe after the wedding, we’ll go back to normal.
I was also looking forward to finally spending time with you. As boyfriend and girlfriend, we have our own families and own homes to go to. So, I was really looking forward to spending more time and getting to know the real “you.”
However, I couldn’t deny the fact that I also have some fears about what happens to us after getting married. I have always been scared that your love will change once we say, “I do.” I was scared of that you might get cocky about being legally bound to me forever, that you’d start making less efforts of showing how much you love me.
I’ve realized that I was both right and wrong about us being more loving and kind to each other. I don’t think we love each other more now. I’ve realized that we did start showing our love more now that we’re married. I’ve become more patient and more attentive to your needs. And you’ve been more flexible to ensure that my needs are met.
I’ve also realized that instead of being just kind, we were also more honest with each other. If I’ve done something wrong, you call me out on it now. This is compared to your old ways of just laughing it off and thinking I’m adorable.
After a month of being married to you, I was able to spend a lot of time with you–but not as I expected. Because of our jobs (since you work during the night), we don’t really get to spend enough time together. Most often than not, I only get to see you before you leave for work and on weekends. But I learned a lot from the little time we spend everyday. I learned that you get pissed when I sneak to try to steal and hide your wedding ring. I learned that the best way for me to show my love is by cooking your baon before I go to sleep. I also learned that you say interesting things out loud when you are deep in sleep.
And as for my fears, I’ve come to realize that I shouldn’t have to fear anything as silly as your love fading away anymore. After our wedding, I’ve learned that instead of your love diminishing, it has amplified. Even with your crazy schedule, you’d give up a full eight-hour sleep just to drive me to and from work. You’ve also learned how to do chores that you think I wouldn’t want to do. And now, I’ve come to accept your declarations of love and learned that every little bit of doubt is slowly fading away.
So, what I’m trying to say is simply this–I love you and I am happy to be married to you. I look forward to spending the rest of my days relishing the fact that you have me and I have you.
Your loving wife,
Lorey