As any romantic would attest to, love makes the world go round. In an instant, it’s what catapults you to cloud nine. In the next, it tears you apart. Ah, love. Such a wonderful, many-splendored thing. That’s what many of us like to think, and that’s also why we are in such a hurry to find it.
But, do you ever stop to think that maybe the “finding” part isn’t really for us to decide? Maybe, that’s love’s way of saying hello from a distance you’d get to cross one day, but should be patient enough to wait for?
The Picture of Love
Being a romantic myself, I get it. It’s such a deal: happy beginnings, bittersweet endings. Stupid as you may be when it gets into your system, there’s almost always no regret when it begins, when it progresses, and when it eventually ends. It just makes you feel so alive.
Today, there are plenty of ways to open up the possibilities of budding relationships and love affairs, of course. Social networking sites and dating apps left and right make your mission of finding Mr. or Ms. Right easier, like placing an order in a fancy restaurant. And when they arrive, we go through great lengths perfecting everything: from picking an Instagram-worthy first date venue to choosing a filter to go with the shot.
What We’re Looking For
When they don’t, however, we look through those who are available, and we sift through possibilities. It becomes so easy to think, “hey, it could be anyone.” And the moment you set eyes on that cute guy on the next table, the imagination goes haywire. You’re naming the kids in your head, and you have a mental image of your future house.
It’s so scary when we get so eager to find love. There’s a danger that we’ll always want to see love as a possibility with everyone we meet. It’s not wrong to want to look at someone and see what we want to see. But, there comes a time when we get so used to looking and seeing only what we want to see. We end up looking at the possibility for our idea of love, rather than the possibility for love itself.
What We’re Looking At
And so, when it does (kind of) follow the script we wrote in our heads, what do you think are we actually looking at? Hopefully, we’re among the lucky ones who looked and found something real. But, it’s rarely the case. I’ve tried it before. I met someone, and I did see a lot of things that could have been. Then it ended.
We’re looking at potential here. While it’s not half bad, remember that it’s up to the other person to do something, or not, about it. It can be good or bad, and your expectations can come crashing down or floating to some happy place. We’re looking at possibilities when we look for love, and we have to prepare to take the blows, because whether or not it’s love, there will be blows.
When Love Finds Us
I’m not after ruining your visions and hopes for that wondrous love. But what’s there to say is that all we look for and at, while love hasn’t come yet, are the possibilities around it. Don’t get me wrong; looking can lead to it, but there are no guarantees. Maybe, when we stop looking for and at it, it’s just going to come as it is…without our judgments, without our scripts…
With just a lot of room to show us what it’s made of, no filter, no preparations, just purely surprise. And then, maybe, it’ll stun us, because it’s nothing like our script, and yet it somehow feels like it’s how it ought to be. And if that’s how it is, then maybe finding love really isn’t for us to decide on or do. It may or may not end up in vain, and your guess is just as good as mine.
But now, it looks like it’s for us to wait on, rather than orchestrate.