5 Reasons Women Should Stop Saying Sorry All the Time

Women have been accustomed to apologizing all the time. Being more emotionally driven and socially conscious than men, women care a lot about how they present themselves to others. We’ve all been there: we find ourselves in a situation where we don’t want to seem too aggressive or assertive, so we hide behind the safe word, “sorry.” There’s a problem at work, everyone’s silent, but you think you might have the solution for it: you start your sentence with, “I’m sorry, I think I might have a suggestion…” You’re in a meeting, and you want to share your opinion. You start with, “I’m sorry, I think…” You approach your team member to help with your project, and you say, “I’m sorry, but I need to ask a favor from you.”

The thing is, we shouldn’t apologize for these things, but we are so used to starting–and even ending–our sentences with “I’m sorry.” Here’s why you should stop apologizing for every single thing that you do.

Unless you actually intend to hurt someone verbally, it’s not mean to speak up! It all depends on how you say things. Saying sorry makes you seem unsure about yourself, or more often than not, weak.

Asking for a favor need not automatically merit an apology from you. For so many women, apologies are linked to our conception of politeness. You’re probably thinking that it’s not right to ask people for favors or to request anyone to do anything for you. Ordering people around is definitely wrong but saying sorry when asking for help isn’t all the more right. Instead of sorry, use other phrases like, “excuse me” or “I could use your help.”

In this day and age, the idea of a woman being strong and confident shouldn’t be so taboo. In fact, it’s sexy when a woman is so sure of herself. You don’t need to put down yourself for fear of being misconstrued for being too “assertive.”  If you interject the word sorry in most of what you say, you put yourself in a lower position than someone else because it’s almost like you’re saying, “I’m sorry for being me!”

4. Expressing yourself shouldn’t require an apology.

 

If you want to express yourself, do so with grace and confidence. If you communicate to others that you’re not confident in what you’re saying, how would you expect others to trust you? Revamp the way you speak. Use “let me say this” or “I’d like to add to what you said” instead of starting your sentence with, “I’m sorry.” You shouldn’t apologize for having an opinion.

5. You shouldn’t apologize for being yourself.

Remember Marianne Williamson’s poem, “Our Deepest Fear”? You might recall its famous first two lines:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

It certainly rings true for women who feel like they have to hide just how good they are for fear of being ostracized. The reason we say sorry a lot is because we want to shrink behind a safe word to draw away too much attention that can lead to insecurity. The most powerful and successful individuals knew what they wanted and were steadfast in their goal to claim it. There’s really no other way to put it except to carry yourself with confidence.

Trying to please everyone is a waste of energy and being sorry all the time is just as wrong. Be the fabulous woman that you are–unapologetically.