Everyone dreams of being in for the long haul with the person they love. But the sad reality is that too many relationships in are short-lived and seem to lack the values to make them lasting. Too often we hear anecdotes of couples who are perpetually bickering, mistreating each other, and putting an end to their relationships and even marriages. Then when we hear about couples who have been together for decades, it makes us stop and wonder what their secrets are. Even eight or 10 years seems an achievement these days.
“Marriage is work. Marriage is struggle. But then again, any close relationship is. And for that matter, so is anything of value in life. When you get right down to it, marriage is not about happiness. Marriage is about two people growing up and becoming better humans,” writes Corey of SimpleMarriage.net.
The idea of a lifelong commitment may sound daunting to many these days. But isn’t it always that way? We talked to a few couples, all of whom have been together for at least a decade (and some of whom have passed the 50-year mark on their partnership!), and we asked them to share how they kept the love alive for so long. Read their secrets below!
1. Orlando and Cecilia Tiongson (Married 62 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “We try to live together as best as we can. We may have different interests but helping others have always been our priority. We try to do good first to each other and later broaden the scope which we both find fulfilling.”
2. Benigno and Norma Sarayba (Married 53 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “When we have disagreements, we resolve it at once. We don’t sleep without making peace with each other. We also don’t bring up the past. And our relationship is based on give and take.”
3. Guillermo Jr. and Marlene Gatdula (Married 44 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “Learning to give way or back down, especially when the other person is right, constantly communicating even about the most trivial matter in our lives and spending time together particularly now that our three kids are married.”
4. Oscar and Estrelita Montealegre (Married 32 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “One secret we learned together is to be a listener. If one talks the other one listens. Money is not also an issue between us. We live our life as simple as we can be …that we believe Is a secret to our long and lasting union.”
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5. Manuel Agcaoili and Consuel Vidal Ortigas (Married 27 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “Patience and understanding is of course number one on the list. And growing old together in the same direction is just as important.”
6. Archie and Evelyn Cabatit (Married 25 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “We have a common faith that binds us together and that is God, who is truly in the center of our relationship. We both are afraid of committing mistakes not in the eyes of men but in the eyes of the Lord who will judge us accordingly. Proverbs 16:6 summarizes our marriage: ‘Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil.'”
7. Yuko and Adela Kono (Married 24 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “God in each of our hearts, binding us together in friendship and love, respecting each other’s families and culture, sharing responsibilities, and making time for each other by dating at least once or twice a week.”
8. Pastor Jed and Eden Raquintain (Married 23 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “(A) Commitment to keep the vows we made to each other before the Lord (Matthew 19:5-6). (B) Faith in the Lord and in His word that He will not allow us to go through trial, in our marital life and in the ministry, without His grace to enable us (1 Corinthians 10:13; 2 Corinthians 9:8). (C) Hope of serving Him in the mission field or in another ministry, in His time (probably when our nest becomes empty again).”
9. Allan Carlo and Margarita Santayana (Married 11 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “God is the center of our marriage, we were blessed with one child. We support each other’s decision in life. If we have our shortcomings or ‘tampuhans,’ we make sure we patch things up before we sleep. We still say ‘I Love You’ until this very day.”
10. Paul and Patricia Cuyugan (Together for 7 Years + Married for 3 Years)
Their secret to long-lasting love: “(1) When we need to, we fight. We never sweep anything under the rug. (2) We make an effort to prioritize and make time for each other and make one another feel important. (3) On rough days, we think about how it was for us at the beginning of our relationship and remember the reason why we fell in love in the first place.”
Do you have your own stories of long-lasting love? What are your secrets? Leave a comment to share!
What's Your Reaction?
We will celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary this year but this year will our 12th year of our relationship. It helps that my husband is also my best friend. We knew each other since we are 6 years old, I think. We became best of friends when we were in high school. Our foundation is strong, and we value and respect each other. Plus of course lots of patience and understanding. We experienced storms too but we agreed to be strong and fight for our love.
Wow sis! Grabe pala ang story niyo! Nakakatuwa naman. More power to you both. 😀
Thanks sis.
We are married for a couple years going 3rd this year but we’ve been in a relationship for more than 8 years. We are on LDR for more than five years. It is really tough for us but so far were doing great. Our communication is better than ever. We trust each other so much and even though we are not together all the time we are happy. I’m proud of us.
It is inspiring to read stories of successful marriages. It gives me hope that we can have the same thing let say 50 years from now.
My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years. We had a rocky start since my parents did not really agree to our marriage, one of the reason was the 13 years gap we have with each other. But, we’re still together and I believe the secret is TRUST – trust in God and trust in each other.
It’s really great seeing that there are couples like that who have stayed for many years in their marriage. We will be celebrating our 14th Wedding Anniversary this year and have been together for 18 yrs.
My husband and I still have a lot to go through and we hope with God’s help, we’ll remain stronger. We’ve been together for 6 years and married for 2 years.
Tomorrow, we’re going to hit our 12 yrs anniversary as a couple and five days from now, we will celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary. February is really a love month for us. lol. I don’t know if there are really secrets for long lasting love, all I know is I love my husband and I want to grow old with him. 🙂
I love reading this kind of post, it is really inspiring. My husband and I been together for 10 years. Respect, communication and making time for each other are the big factors. We are still dating (going out just like before) and always kilig every time I am with him. 🙂
It’s true what they say, long-lasting love requires one to fall in love many times, always with the same person. I have been married for 8 years already. I always pray for him, for our marriage, that God will bless Him and always touch his heart.
we have been together for 10 years as a couple but we were just starting as husband and wife. it is good to know stories like these that tackles secrets of a happy relationship. so inspiring, indeed!
Me and my wife have our own ups and downs. But the deep love we have for each other is what keeps us together. Nothing or no one can break us apart 🙂
thank you for sharing those secrets! I hope my marriage (In the future) will last for more then 50 years.. I cant wait
I am optimistic I will find this kind of love too. For now I will focus on myself. 🙂
Being a good listener, understanding and if we need to we fight but we don’t sleep without making a peace to each other is our secret being married for almost 7 years this year. Thanks for sharing this Sis.
http://www.sweetcuisinera.com
I’m not sure if my comments went through, Thanks for sharing this tips it will help and guide us to a perfect marriage.
Helpful tips! Every couple needs tips like this in order to stay in love and stay with the person we chose to love.
I love that you were able to get tips from real people. Love is really a commitment. Both parties have to work together toward being together.
Great tips on staying in-love and for long lasting relationship. We made mistakes and learn from it and that makes marriage stronger than ever.
http://www.wish4less.com
Those are couples you wanna emulate! Thanks for the tips. These would come in handy one day 🙂
I am friends with Patty (Patricia Cuyugan) and yes, I believe her strategy or secret to a fruitful marriage. Everything is possible if both are open for communication.
Open communication is one of the best secrets for me. Both parties should listen to what other wants to tell.
Another is to put God as center of the relationship.
By the way, we don’t make money as an issue of our argument.